We must stop chasing love. What to do instead.

Melissa Dobson
Melissa is a self-taught student of today’s modern spiritual teachers, loves to write mantras.

Feb 13,2017

Today, I want to talk to you about making the decision to no longer chase love from those who may be closed to it. I want to encourage you to think about the core relationships in your life. The ones that mean the most to you and whom you spend the most time, energy and attention on.

Is there anyone in that circle, no matter who they are, no matter how they may be related to you, even if you’ve been a friend for a really long time, and I know this is difficult, but is there anyone in that circle that you feel you have to chase for their attention or for their respect? 

Do you feel like they don’t see you? Or they don’t like what they see when they see you living your fullest and truest expression of yourself? If so, please give yourself a moment to acknowledge that and to know that it’s okay to feel exactly how you feel about it.

I have three tips to get you through once you’ve realized that there is a relationship like this that has been causing pain to your heart and may well be deteriorating your days.

First of all, I honor you for even watching this video or reading this post because the title of it is off-putting. We don’t want to face these types of things and I understand it can be scary. I honor you for taking the time to investigate this topic.

What I want to tell you is that when you allow yourself to feel exactly how you feel about this relationship, or more than one relationship that you may have in your life, and hold yourself gently first, you will feel a rush of love for yourself.

That is my first tip for working through the difficult emotions of something like this.

My first tip is to flow love, so much love, toward yourself. That can be done by a loving gesture like putting your hands on your heart and just taking some deep breaths. It can be doing several rounds of loving kindness meditation. Do a Google search and there are some beautiful videos and teachings about it.

Anything that makes you feel loved and supported, do that for yourself.

The next tip is to do the deep work of healing that pain. This is difficult and you will need support but there are so many beautiful teachers, whether it be through online courses, or a counselor or coach, a support group or just some people that you’re close to, you know exactly who will listen, and hold space for you and allow you to express your true feelings about something. You know, in your heart, who those people are. Don’t be afraid to tell them exactly how you feel and what you’re struggling with.

The last tip is to open your heart to the love of those very people. The people who you might call your tribe, your front row, as my meditation teacher, davidji, teaches. Those people who see you exactly as you are even when you’re not perfect, even when you’re in pain, even when you’re expressing your truest, truest self. Those people, consider spending more quality time with them or just being in touch with them more. Give them more of your time, attention and affection for however long you have left on this Earth.

You can still hold those people lovingly who feel like you have to chase. It doesn’t have to be an awful, bitter thing.

But you have to acknowledge the feeling and take good care of yourself first. And then, look at those people who are always, always there for you. It’s funny because one of them is on this video with me right now. Not coincidental. If you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment. If you know someone who’s going through this, and maybe they’ve expressed their feelings about it to you, share this video. It’s been such an honor. Thank you so much for coming and checking this video out. I hope it was of service to you. I’ll see you again soon.

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