The Myth Of Unconditional Love

Moe DeCarlo
I show empowered, freedom-loving women how to get lasting love from an above average alpha male.
Relationships

Dec 22,2016

It pains me to tell you this.

But you will never love anyone unconditionally.

Nor will you ever be.

Not your husband. Not your kids. Not your dog.

It’s not going to happen.

We lie to ourselves so we can believe that we love unconditionally, but we don’t.

It’s an ego thing. The truth is…

There’s always something someone can do to cause us to stop feeling that “loving feeling” towards them. Even those we say we love the most.

Granted, it often takes a bunch of negative stuff over a period of time before we stop loving.

Or when we’re triggered powerfully by something they do.

Or when they reveal a character flaw that’s hard to forgive.

Whether we stop loving them in the moment, or forever. There are things that a person can do to make us stop loving them.

Again, often it’s the pretty dark and bad stuff that makes us stop loving, but that’s my point.

We are not designed to love unconditionally.

Now why would I say such a cynical-sounding thing?

Because we are human beings.

As long as we need air, food, and sleep for survival, among other human needs, we are incapable of achieving the IDEAL that is “unconditional love”.

But that’s not a problem. It’s an insight. 

If you are a caring, loving person, you may be saying “speak for yourself Moe! I love my husband unconditionally!”

Or something like that for someone.

But deep down, you know it’s not 100.00% true.

The only pure unconditional love comes from God. Or the Universe. Or Mother Nature.

(INSERT YOUR SPIRITUAL BELIEFS HERE)

Not us. We just like to believe that about ourselves.

So why am I telling you this bah humbug, Debbie Downer stuff when I’m an internationally renowned Love Coach who believes in having lasting relationships of passion, partnership, and purpose?

Because to truly love another person completely, we must first love ourselves completely.

Part of loving ourselves completely is to accept the things about us that we don’t necessarily admire, like, or want to admit to others.

That’s where acknowledging that we are human and thus incapable of 100% unconditional love comes in.

When you accept that reality, you empower yourself to truly love someone (and be loved) in the BEST and deepest way you possibly can.

Shout out to Don Miguel Ruiz and The Four Agreements.

No more self-criticism. No more judging others. No more endless guilt. No more endless disappointment.

Just sharing real human love in the best way we can.

Now that’s what we’re here to do!

We are not here to be perfect. We are here to do our best.

And another funny thing about accepting that we’re human and incapable of 100% unconditional love is…

Ready?

You can come extremely close to experiencing unconditional love when you accept the fact that it’s humanly impossible.

Much closer than when we believe (the lie) that we already do love unconditionally.

  • The lie that causes us frustration, aggravation, and conflict because we expect to receive impossible love in return.
  • The lie that causes our self-righteous ego to make us incapable of admitting our own mistakes, faults, or shortcomings.
  • The lie that causes our minds to create misery for ourselves and others, when we could just as easily experience joy.

So that’s it.

It’s counter-intuitive.

Accepting the fact that we cannot love unconditionally actually creates more peace, freedom, and intimacy in our lives and relationships.

And it “only” requires a shift in thinking.

A shift in thinking that empowers you to break through current levels of unconscious, habitual behavior that’s not serving you anymore.

A shift in thinking that’s creates the vibe to attract your true ideal mate, naturally and effortlessly.

A shift in thinking that’s needed to reconnect more deeply with your lover, and transcend your current challenges. 

A shift in thinking that frees up the emotional space required to stay in true passionate partnership while achieving goals together.

A shift in thinking that allows you to create new realities that exceed your current wildest dreams.

It all starts with admitting that we are human and unconditional love is an IDEAL.

It’s an ideal that gives us divine direction and aligned goals for our greater good.

But it’s not a standard to base our expectations and happiness from.

That’s what doing our best is for.

And that we can achieve.

Give the best love you can give to someone, today.

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