Truth Bombs of Womanhood

Megan Burgess
Passionate about life
Gender And Sexuality

Jun 30,2017

This article is intended not only to address some of the taboo challenges of womanhood to give insight to men but also to help women understand that they are not alone in facing these adversities. 

Pregnancy and childbirth always seems to be a good place to start. So many people talk about how men will never understand what a woman goes through during this time, and I personally don’t think they have to. I think there is a sacred bond between a mother and child. But I want to talk about everything else that this brings, things that men and woman tend to overlook or keep buried.

First there are the changes that a woman’s body goes through to grow a human inside of her. These changes often never go away and it can be extremely difficult to come to terms with the permanent aftermath. Men, when your woman gets pregnant and you accept the amazing roller-coaster ride of fatherhood, you also have to accept that you are a partner and support system to your child’s mother and this means that you must love her for who she becomes in the process and encourage her in any way she needs. Women have been dealing with pressure to bounce back shortly after giving birth for a very long time. Simply put, I think mothers have to be healthy for the sake of their children and work towards a realistic body image that they can wake up feeling good about. 

On the other extreme, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve heard so many stories of miscarriages and still births and complications. Talking about these heartaches is important in the process of healing. Not to discredit the loss or say that woman should get over it because it is more common than we think, but to say keep trying. To say, it’s not your fault, don’t let the pain scare you away from the ultimate goal. Many woman who have experienced this, have ended up with strong, healthy children. 

Similarly, there is so much judgement when it comes to raising children from both genders. Men seem to think that women should take over because of our nurturing maternal instinct but I know plenty of women who simply don’t have it. No human being can always have it together, and as mothers, women just try and make good decisions to the best of their ability. Motherhood might be harder for some women than it is for others but that certainly does not warrant criticism from others. Children of these “bad moms” often grow up to be perfectly good people. 

Thankfully, we have come a long way in populating schools and the work force with females. However, this still is not a fair battle. Theoretically speaking, the expectation for young adults is that they will finish high school and continue onto university. These days, a bachelors degree does not take you very far so to compete with other candidates in the work force you will need at least a masters. That is approximately seven years, and yet women need to find the right man, get married and have kids before the age of 35, when their chance of risks are significantly elevated. But before we can carry a baby for 9 months and spend the next year trying to keep it alive, we need to find a good job with a stable income and establish ourselves so we can still contribute to family expenses. 

The next subject is a big one that you can probably see coming. Looks. It is so unsettling that bodily features have such a direct impact on so many aspects of the lives of women; the friends you have, the men that you attract, the job you can get. The birth of social media has caused young girls to idolize beautiful women that they don’t even know. This has also created an ideal image, style, size, etc. for girls to try and obtain themselves. From such a young age, girls learn these unspoken rules of what they have to do to compete. Our hair has to be dyed the perfect shade, but we can’t have it anywhere else on our body. If our eyebrows are one less plucked hair away from perfect, we can’t be trusted. No blemishes, the perfect contour, long eyelashes, tanned skin, flat stomach, curves. When men picture their dream woman, I can bet you that they don’t picture her having any imperfections because that is what the media advertises women to be; flawless. 

Can’t we teach our girls that they don’t have to change anything about themselves because of the seemingly perfect girls they see. It seems impossible for females to understand that what is in the mirror is good enough because of negative comments from people thinking there is a check-list we have to follow. Women are subject to so much critic, in the same aspects, and more, that men are. Issues, like the ones I have discussed, unfortunately go unmentioned but the exceptions and gender rules have to stop. In fear for future generations, I hope speaking about it will eliminate some of the adversities that everyone contributes to, even if it’s just changing your own mindset.

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